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it. More than anything, I wished the doctors could know that under the emaciated body, the dreadful sicknesses, there was a real person who thinks, feels and is ALIVE, no matter how ill the body. I often felt I was just a body in the bed, a blob in the waiting room, a medical statistic. By writing this blog when so ill you show that lucidity and spirit exist in illness. Where there is breath indeed, there is life.I experienced the symptoms you describe the gripping guts, the sudden throw up not related to food (seemingly). I took a bucket with me everywhere. A blue one. My experience may be of benefit to you or someone else who reads this blog. It was finally discovered I had become lactose intolerant and much of what I ate to settle my guts was milk based (there is also lactose in lots of anti nausea drugs). I also found too much soy upset the guts. I finally started living on Ensure (from the chemist in Oz) a milk free food substitute drink. Good for the nose tube (though I do hope you are through with that). I also found stemetil suppositories very helpful. I cut a 5 mg in half and use that to calm things down without making me sleepy. If I need more, I just insert the other half or more. If really sick and can stop throwing up, then I get a stemetil shot that puts me to sleep and settles the whole mess down but I try to use less than the usual amount as it leaves me foggy the next day.I have noted with my mindfulness meditation that while I can most things and there is some relief, nausea does not have a point of origin and I never find relief with meditative awareness. Nausea just arises and