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coaching association of canada use the very people who upset you as a reflection of the internal dynamics behind your struggles.Exercise: Mirrors and Teachers1. List problem people: Make a list of people with whom you are having problems.2. Choose a mirror: Select one of the most difficult people on the list, and think about your interaction with that person. What do you want from him or her? Do you want to be understood? To be respected? To be left alone? To be appreciated? To be cared about?3. Relate it to yourself: Now consider how to give to yourself what you want from the other person. If you want to be left alone, do you leave yourself alone? If you want to be trusted, do you trust yourself? If you want to be heard, do you listen to your own self? If you want to be important, are you important to you?4. Change your self treatment: Practice treating yourself the way you would want to be treated by the person in question. For example, if you are angry because this person doesn't treat you with respect, consider what it would mean to treat yourself with respect, and change your behavior toward yourself accordingly. If you're upset because the person doesn't listen to you, spend some time every day listening to yourself.5. Learn new skills: Think about the dynamics between the difficult person and yourself, and what you need to learn that would improve the relationship. Perhaps you need to learn not to take what is said too seriously. Perhaps you need to learn to set boundaries, or to handle other peoples' anger more effectively. Make a list of new skills you could learn that would improve your ability to deal