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wretching. In any case, I'm just hoping that it will eventually subside. Abdominal pain (I suppose like all pain) is very debilitating. Often after a few hours I just fall asleep wherever I'm sitting or lying and wake up to find the day gone.I haven't mentioned the Chinese herbs I bought last week, which my mother is very nervous about, having had a friend who ended up in intensive care with renal failure from taking them. They did make me very sick the next day, then much better the day after. Who knows. I really really wish someone would produce a directory like the BMJ's Clinical Evidence that charts what we know and don't know about such treatments. The array of options and suggestions for healing cancer is so overwhelming, with enthusiasts insisting that their treatment is the right one. My fifteen years in evidology (EBM) taught me how horribly wrong we can be about treatments, in both directions.In the same vein, next to our bed is a deep window ledge with a big box of other things I've tried. It's amazing how almost every doctor has a different prescription for the same problem (abdominal upset), with very little overlap. It seems as if I have every pain killer in the pharmacoeipia.I'm writing all this not to gain sympathy so much as to describe the frustration of many people with cancer (and, no doubt, other chronic diseases) at not being able to control symptoms, on top of not being able to control the disease or treatment and the feeling that your agency is slipping away.That said, things aren't all bad. There are the carers, my gorgeous friends and family, and lovely readers who