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coach the store do without the formal phone call, don worry. Just be polite if she calls ( for letting me know! Sounds lovely! and move on with your dress shopping plans.Q. Does the groom stepmother have to abide by the dress buying rules, too?A. At the risk of hurting her feelings, the mother of the bride will usually involve only the mother of the groom in the mum dress discussion. After all, it really just a formal courtesy. Express your attire concerns to the bride and groom. They let you know what they think is appropriate and give you some guidelines. Otherwise, wear whatever feels good.Q. What are the colour restrictions surrounding the mother of the groom dress?A. Traditionally, avoiding dresses in the white, ivory and champagne colour family (that can appear to rival the bride), black gowns (that can suggest mourning) and red gowns (or similarly shades) is the standard. Though we seen mums in white who look tailored and elegant. We think black is classic, chic and formal and know that even red can be done with gorgeous good taste. The bottom line? Before you start shopping, talk to the bride. She may be very sensitive to the colour issue or completely indifferent. If she expresses reservation, think about subdued but stately colours in the lavender, silver, burgundy and blue families.Q. When it comes to choosing the mother of the groom dress, how much say does the bride have?A. It nice to consult her on colour especially if you have your heart set on white, black or red. She may also have ideas about style, length, and formality. Do try to respect her wishes and recognise that she might be too polite